7 Fun Ways To Teach Kids About Money (by Daniel Britton)

Financial Fluency – 7 tips teaching children the value of money

It is a widely held belief that the earlier children learn a foreign language, the quicker they will be able to pick it up and achieve fluency. The same is also true when it comes to teaching children about money and developing financial fluency. Teaching children from an early age how to save and budget in a fun and educational way can lay the foundations for sound money management later in life.

A University of Minnesota study indicates that with as little as 10 hours of financial education, teachers and parents can positively affect children’s future saving and spending habits.

A good place to start teaching children about money is by demonstrating that money is used in exchange for goods and services, showing them that in making their own purchases they are in fact trading with the shop owner and receiving the product in exchange. As an example, next time you are shopping, try to have the exact change for the product and give it to your child. Let your child hand over the money to the cashier and after you have left the shop, have a chat about how the money paid for the item.

It is important to always approach teaching children about money with openness and honesty, giving a constant and clear message. Explain to them why they can or cannot have certain items they wish to buy. You can’t always say yes to a request for money and if it has to be a no, it does few favours being over indulgent, but equally the ‘because I said so’ clause has little educational merit.

Before long your child will have a basic understanding of money. When this happens you may wish to start explaining the bigger picture. You might consider showing children how the whole family benefits from money via a visit to the supermarket. Once there pick out two similar products, perhaps a well known brand and an own label and allow the child to make the choice. If they choose the supermarket’s own brand, allow them to make a further purchase with the saved money. This might be a useful starting point for a discussion about value vs. price.

Consider also the type of signals about money that your child picks up on. You may feel it's important to let your child know family money matters are private, and not for discussion outside the home. If however, as parents you talk in hushed tones over bills and bank statements, your child may deduce that finances are something to be secretive and furtive about. Similarly, if they pick up some stress and anxiety over money, this too is a value that can be carried forward into adult life.

A great fun resource for teaching money values are The Financial Fairy Tales books - see http://www.thefinancialfairytales.com for details.

7 tips to help teach children about money

1) Fun, fun, Fun - make a game of both saving and spending. If only spending money is fun then they will not associate any pleasure with saving.

2) Routines - When they receive money as presents or from the tooth fairy establish a routine, like putting some or all of it in their piggy bank or savings account. They will most likely take these traditions forward into their own families.

3) Consistency - If you pay pocket money in return for helping around the house make sure they actually do the work. Even very young children can be responsible for tidying away their own toys or clothes. It’s a good idea to pay a set amount on a regular day but encourage their entrepreneurial side by giving them the opportunity to earn more if they seek it.

4) Look after the pennies - Turning off the lights, saving their pennies and giving small donations to charity collections are small things that they can do to create positive habits which may last a lifetime. Ensure that you explain why you are doing it and what the benefits are. Charitable giving can illustrate to your child that there are others less fortunate and introduce the idea to be grateful that they have more than enough.

5) Consequences - When your children ask for something, rather than say no. Ask them if they would like to buy it from their own money and explain what the consequences are. You may find that they are more reluctant to spend their own money than they are yours!

6) Praise, praise, praise - We may learn by our mistakes but by praising we reinforce positive behavior and will encourage children to do the right thing out of choice ‘because it feels good’. This can be applied to saving, spending wisely and giving to charity.

7) Spend and save - when your children are receiving pocket money, teach them to save either some or all of it. It is always a good idea to let them spend a little however, as this encouragement will stand them in good stead later in life.

About The Author

Daniel Britton is a writer and educator with a special interest in financial education and enterprise. He is the author of the Financial Fairy Tales series of books for 5-8 year olds, see http://www.thefinancialfairytales.com.

Top Ten Nutritional Tips for Children (by Jason Horsley)

With video games, TV, computers, poor meal choices and the internet, children are facing a health crisis of their own. Children as a whole are less healthy than they used to be in times past. Diabetes-thought to be a mainly adult disease in the past has been on the rise among children. An obese child usually translates into an obese adult, which can lead to all sorts of health problems in the future, such as high blood pressure and an increased chance of suffering from a heart attack or stroke.

With this in mind, eFitness for Life has put together a top ten list of nutritional tips for children.

1. Set a good example and keep your child active. Children learn by example, and if their parent is healthy and active, chances are they are too. Make activity fun for your child, and enrol them in as many sporting activities as you can afford.

2. Make sure your child eats their breakfast. Breakfast really is the most important meal of the day. It will give them the fuel they need throughout the day. Make sure you guide them towards making healthy breakfast choices, such as oatmeal or whole grain cereals.

3. Keep your child hydrated, especially if it is hot outside or they are engaged in a sporting activity.

4. Make sure your child gets enough protein and carbohydrates in their diets. Foods that are good sources of protein and carbohydrates include fish, poultry, meat, cheese, milk, beans or legumes.

5. Provide healthy snacks after exercise. Instead of handing them a chocolate bar, hand them a piece of fruit instead.

6. Provide variety in their diet. If your child is eating the same things day after day, chances are that they are missing out on some nutritional building blocks. Besides that, they will get bored with their diet. Instead, have them help you choose meals that are healthy for the entire family. This will help them make better choices in the future.

7. See a nutritionist. They can help a great deal when it comes to planning meals for you and your growing child.

8. Try to make home cooked meals as opposed to eating out. Fast food is generally not a good way to instill good eating habits in your child.

9. Throw out the soda and limit the juices. Soda is jam packed with calories and juices are typically full of sugars. Instead, give them water.

10. Teach your child about proper portion sizes. Most people eat way too much food at each meal, which contributes to massive weight gain in both adults and children.

Nutrition is important for both children and adults. Together you can make your house a healthier environment, where everyone can reap the benefits. Do not allow poor nutrition and inactivity to ruin your child's health. Together we can make a difference that will last a lifetime.

For those that need a little extra direction or motivation, visit e-Fitness for Life now and see how our online fitness and nutrition coaching programs can help you make the most of your investment, in the shortest possible time, with the greatest return. All done online! All done with certified coaches! Truly, the Future of Fitness! Stop by today and we will be happy to build your starter programs to ensure you learn to live longer, healthier lives.

About The Author

Jason J. Horsley is the CEO/Founder of e-Fitness for Life an online fitness and nutrition coaching solution that provides an affordable, convenient alternative to conventional, expensive dietitians and personal training. Through both e-Fitness for Life and Health and Wealth for Life, Jason is using his 15+ years in the fitness industry to help individuals across the globe not only look better, but feel better and live longer. The e-Fitness for Life team is made up of coaches/trainers around the US, working with clients throughout the world via the World Wide Web and the state-of-the-art e-Fitness Tracker software!

Did You Hug Your Child Today? (by Sudha Gupta)

In the race of life, at times our concerns over run the love for our children. It is not that the love diminishes but we stop expressing it. But hugging your child is as important as giving him meals, and at times even more important!

A hug for everyday: You don’t have to look for a reason to hug your child. Don’t wait till your child’s birthday or till he scores good marks or gets home a trophy. Hug him even when there is no reason. For no reason can be bigger than love.

A hug for every age: Where chubby little children get kisses and hugs like their daily dose of milk, it’s when children grow up parents think may be it’s alright to skip hugs from the routine. But children need and love hugs, at all age.

A hug for confidence: Your child will feel wanted, cherished, and important whenever you hug him. This kind of expression of love by parents adds to the child’s confidence and self esteem.

A hug for misunderstandings: When things go wrong, a hug can say more than a thousand words. This heart to heart non- verbal form of communication always works and is never misunderstood.

A hug for love: Cuddle your child, embrace him in your arms to show your love without having to say ‘I love you’. Your child will also learn to express his love and develop a loving and caring nature. When you love your child so much, you might as well express it too!

Your Promise Mean A World To Your Child (by Sudha Gupta)

Unfulfilling a promise made to a child is no less than breaking his trust.

Parents are the ones on whom the child depends for the fulfillment of his desires and needs. Their each promise is like a hope for the child. And whenever parents break their promise, it breaks the child's heart and shatters his trust. So don't take promises made to your child casually.

Make promises you can keep : When your child is not ready to go to school, you promise him that you'll pick him up after the school and eat at McDonalds knowing very well that you won't be able to leave the office. Don't make promises you can't honour.

Make a new promise incase the old one is unfulfilled : If due to unavoidable circumstances you are unable to keep your promise, explain to your child the reasons and make a fresh promise. Let him express his disappointment instead of saying 'It's not that big a deal!'

Don't promise everything or anything : Don't commit for things you otherwise don't give your child as a matter of rule. Make promises discreetly or else they lose their charm and you obviously won't be able to remember all the promises.

Use promises as 'reward' and not as 'bribe': Promise your child a holiday, a movie, a toy or a chocolate for respecting elders, scoring well, cleaning his room or being helpful but not for letting you watch the serial or chat on the phone.

Honor your promises to teach the child integrity of words : When you keep your word, the child learns the importance and value of make a commitment. He will get inspired to keep his promises made not only to you but to anybody. Next time, when he breaks his promise to clean the room or finish his homework, you can remind him with conviction 'Honour your promise!'

Parenting Tip : Make only those promises to your child which you can keep and make sure you fulfill them.

Are You an Empathic Parent? (by Toni Schutta)

If your child walks in the door with her shoulders drooping and her face forlorn do you say something like “You look sad. Come in and tell me what happened.”

Or if your child is stomping around do you say “You seem upset. Your feelings are important to me. Let’s talk.” Or do you tell your child to “Change your attitude, buddy!”

Perhaps you feel uncomfortable talking about feelings. You may have grown up in a home where it was better to keep a stiff upper lip. Or if you were upset you were told to go to your room. In other words, your parents probably didn’t teach you how to express your feelings in a healthy way. You were probably taught to stuff your feelings, especially “negative” ones.

The decision you need to make is, “Do I want to teach my kids to stuff their feelings or do I want to take the time to teach them how to talk about their feelings?”

There are lots of benefits to being an “empathic” parent i.e. one who helps a child name a feeling, listens carefully and repeats back what the child is saying while striving to understand the child’s point of view.

The most important reason is that you and your child will be closer. Every person in the world longs to feel understood by another and wouldn’t it be wonderful if you were that person for your child? Listening for feelings is the best way to keep your “attachment” to your child tight.

By modeling empathy you are teaching your child to care for other people, to be a good listener, to be understanding, to have compassion and to express feelings in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone or anything.

Your child is going to get better at managing his/her own feelings and will be more sensitive to the impact his/her behavior has on other people. (Children under the age of seven typically don’t have a lot of empathy, but you can still begin the teaching process.)

Often times using empathy can diffuse a potentially explosive exchange. If your child notes that you’re leading with empathy and trying to understand his/her point of view, s/he may reach out for the olive branch of understanding rather than escalating the exchange. You will also remain calmer if you’re listening with your heart.

A three-step process for using empathy and building understanding that I recommend is from the “EQ for Families” family education workshop at http://www.6seconds.org.

The VIE process has three steps:

1) Validate: Acknowledge the feeling(s), help the person know s/he’s “been heard.”

2) Inventory: Identify what happened and what choices have been made.

3) Expand: Develop multiple options of what to do next.

Here’s an example:

Let’s say that you have another family over and one of the children tells you that your 4-year-old has just hit his brother. You certainly don’t want her to hit anyone, so a time out would be a viable discipline option, but instead of doing that, what if you tried leading with empathy?

Parent: “Tell me what happened.”

Child: “The three of them were playing basketball and they wouldn’t let me play.”

Parent: “You were feeling left out?”

Child: “Yes! I can’t reach the hoop, so I was bored and left out. I wanted to play, too!”

Parent: “You wish they would play with you, too, and you felt left out.”

Child: “Yeah!”

Parent: “It’s hard to watch others playing and having fun and you’re left out.”

Child: “Yes.”

Parent: “Do you think hitting Charlie was a good solution to the problem of feeling left out?”

Child: “No…”

Parent: “I agree. Hitting hurts people. In our family, we use words instead of fists to solve problems.”

Child: “I know.”

Parent: “Let’s think of what other choices you had.”

Brainstorm together: play alone; find a game the four of you can play together; stay with the adults; tell them how you’re feeling; get adult help.

Parent: “What solution would you like to pick?”

Child: “Will you come with and help me talk to them?”

Parent: “Sure. Would you also be willing to do something to let Charlie know that you’re sorry that you hit him?”

Child: “Yes.”

So, what has your child learned?

a) She can talk to you about her feelings.

b) Her feelings now have a name.

c) You understand what happened.

d) That hitting is wrong.

e) That you can talk out a problem and find solutions.

If you’re going to use empathy, here are a few guidelines.

1) Remain positive. Don’t criticize the child.

2) Don’t reassure the child by saying, “It doesn’t matter. It will be OK.” Let the child reach his/her own conclusion.

3) Don’t attempt to solve the child’s problem for him. “I know just what you can do!”

4) Don’t punish the child for having angry/sad feelings by saying, “You go to your room until you can change your attitude!”

5) Don’t tell the child how s//he should feel or criticize the feelings she expressed by saying “You’re this upset about THAT?”

Instead, help the child name the feeling, explore what happened and develop next steps that could be helpful to the child.

Try using empathy at least once a day and your child will experience hundreds of times when you have listened with your heart and tried to connect with him/her on an emotional level. Think of how powerful this experience will be for both of you.

About The Author

By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P., Families First Coaching, Self Growth’s Official Guide to Parenting. Visit http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive the free mini-course “The 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) and to preview 17 on-line parenting classes that solve the most common parenting problems.

Small Efforts That Have Huge Impact On Parent Child Relationship (by Sudha Gupta )

We often don’t give importance to minor things thinking they won’t matter. But at times, some things look very minor but their outcome can be really powerful. Here are some of the efforts which can alter the equation between you and your child.

Pat your child when he loses: May it be failure in the class, or on the field, speak words of encouragement to your child .The trust and confidence in your relationship will go to another level. After all, words of encouragement during failure are more valuable than words of praise after success.

Give him importance, like a member of the family: Hang his painting in your room or in the office, when you call his friends ask him what should be the menu, take his opinion when you are buying stuff for the house et al. Your child’s self esteem will become so strong that he’ll surely be a winner throughout.

Share your own experience when your child makes a mistake: When you see your child lying or stealing, or fall to any temptations, share with him the mistakes you made in your life. He’ll know it is all right to make mistakes and that he can share with you anything.

Appreciate at least one quality in your child everyday: Each day look at what qualities your child possesses and appreciate him, may be for his caring attitude, his dance skills, or his observation power. Praise genuinely and do tell him exactly what and why you are appreciating. Tell him how proud you are of him because of those qualities. You may make small cards to show your appreciation or put up a chart where each star symbolizes appreciation.

Become his age before bedtime: Jump on the bed, have pillow fights, act silly, crack silly jokes, dance - become a child with your child for sometime. You’ll forget all your day’s stress.

About The Author

Sudha Gupta is an educationist & an expert on parenting.

For your parenting related queries, write to the renowned parenting expert Sudha Gupta at sudha_gupta@mothersprideonline.com 

Parenting: Which Road Do I Engage To Raise A Good Kid? ( by Rex Villaflor )

THE PROCESS OF BEING A NEW PARENT

Proper and good parenting skills teaches you how to essentially listen to your child's needs and not relinquish them, but it is all up to you on how can you stand strong and see the issues in your child's eyes and point to a solution that will please you both.

You have to admit, that we tend to overlook how it is to just relax and get jammed with our boring lifestyle and jobs. You have to remember that this is not the type of profession that you can quit, when you don't feel like it anymore. There is no such thing as unworkable in searching for others who are skilled in those kind of problems.

There are many websites about parenting that you can stumble on just about all types of circumstances possible. What is eminent is that keep in mind that you ought to never give up. Here are the processes that you must know to develop into skilled in parenting. Remember that too much of criticism is not going to do any good in any parent and child relationships.

PARENTING AS A NEVER-ENDING OCCUPATION

Not a soul can say that parenting is such an undemanding task. It's nothing but a permanent process. But! Being a parent is nothing but a amusing job. Even after all of your children have grown-up, they will still turn up to you for advices. Just as now that they are taller than you doesn't mean that they are more developed and ready for everything that this world can offer them.

A younger kid needs lots of attention as well as proper guidance as they are growing up. Parents are often times unappreciated and overworked. They have to be educated how to take on responsibilities to any act that they do and take whatever penalty (from doing bad decisions) that it brings them.

EDUCATE YOUR KID ON SELF-RELIANCE

To be pleased (blissfully) is what nearly all parents desire for their child. Most of the time, it is out of your own crave for materialistic pressures, or to be liked, and at times fervent longing that your kid may be spared of the things that you did not experience as a child, as an action you would aim to do your best to grant them nothing but the finest of everything. As early as one-year-old, your child can start learning self-reliance.

COMMON CHILD AND PARENT PROBLEMS

There is no help in going back down your memory lane (your own school days) if you desire to try to help your child with their homework, you'll just probably find yourself lost and not even understand, since even all of the lessons methods at the present time have changed. Being a parent means that you possibly will have some misgivings, that is just one part of it. A lot of the lessons now are all computerized, most probably your child is more adept in using a computer than you are.

Give out your child some freedom, so that they can start learning on their own to curve on how to do things unaccompanied. We are trying to teach our children to best of our knowledge by reliving our very own childhood/teen years and the fact of the matter is that we haven't really stirred forward at present time. I have been corrected a lot of times before by being rebuked that "Its way different now" or by "Dad that happen to be years ago" it seems that the children makes a point in that sense.

Children are fast growing up and at the common age of ten or even eleven they're almost like young adults already. It may be challenging for some, while it can be stress-free for others. Do not let panic to come and hit you, the joyful experience that a child can bring to their parents is adequate to pay for all the hardships that you will endure in rearing a good child.

As your child has responsibilities, (even at a tender age) they too feels proud of their achievements and often feels looked-for, feels worthy and of course loved. Now that they are adults, they too understand that every person is accountable for the way they built their lives. Actual independence is the only precious gift that you can truly give your kid.

Upon learning to take on responsibility, they will be self-sufficient. Do not be surprised if you discover that you're really seeking to fulfill what you then lacked.

GET FURTHER COMPLIANCE

Start to determine house rules. Let us say if your house rule is that bedtime must be at 8 pm.

Try putting a marble in a jar on every occasion your child starts doing something for the first time that you asked. Try saying, "You can watch right after dinner". If your kid argues, all you have to do is to say again that rule over and over, as opposed to with you entering into a argument.

If the circumstances is for a frustrated youngster you can then say, "I know that you are irritated right now since you cannot complete building your Lego tower".

Some particular triggers can set a child off. You should at all times use optimistic interaction. You have to try phrasing your request or order in a much positive way as opposed to a unconstructive way.

Each time give your child two options. Being the parent you are permitted to pick at least two options that is both acceptable to the both of you as you offer it to your child.

To be able to get to the next place, make it fun - If your kid is the type that has troubles with changes and becomes oppositional, you can ask him/her to jump like a kangaroo to the door, or even allow their favorite object waiting in the car. By using rewards - You can focus on your childs optimistic viewpoint instead of the negatives.

BUILD MEMORIES WITH QUALITY FAMILY TIME

A intended simple dinner that is delicious and nutritious, but doesn't require stress while preparing it.

You have to try to determine beforehand how incidents would be tackled for you to be prepared and will not be unfocused incase emergent of a slight skirmish. It is essential to always keep positive and upbeat conversation topics. You do not need key makeovers in starting to expand your quality time that you and your family spend together.

About The Author

Rex left the busy city to settle down in a quiet beach-side domain where he performs all his work at home stuff. At the time of writing, he is preparing for the biggest day of his life, that is being married to the most wonderful lady in the world, Lorraine.

How Our Thoughts And Actions Affect Our Children’s Behaviour (by Ruth Edensor)

When children misbehave, it is pretty natural to feel negative and you may find yourself behaving in a negative way back, by shouting or putting them down, withdrawing affection or some other method of making children feel bad about what they have done. This is because their negative behaviour attracts a negative response from us, unless, we are aware of how it is making their behaviour worse and try hard to stay in a more positive mindset.

As parents who are trying to improve children’s behaviour, remembering that your negative behaviour will also attract a negative response, can really help you to stay positive and non reactive, so that you are more likely to get a positive response from your children.

James Allen in his classic book “As a Man Thinketh”, explains this theory really well.

He likened our minds to that of a garden. He said that we can “intelligently cultivate” a garden by planting useful seeds and helping it blossom, or we can leave the garden to grow wild and let an abundance of useless weeds take over.

He believed negative thoughts were like weeds and very destructive, while positive thoughts can be planted like seeds to grow and develop into beautiful things.

So by thinking of your child’s mind as a garden that needs to be carefully cultivated and filled with good seeds and know that negative actions are destructive and fill the mind like weeds in a garden it can help to see the reason behind using positive methods to improve children’s behaviour.

The bottom line is, by helping a child to feel good about their self, you attract good behaviour, and if a child is made to feel bad about their self you attract unwanted behaviour.

So next time you feel yourself getting annoyed with your children, and they are misbehaving, check to see if you are saying or doing negative things which will be making the situation worse. You can turn things around by saying more positive things and acting in a more positive way, even if this starts with calming down and getting yourself in a more positive mindset first.

For example,

If you asked a four year old to get dressed for school and 5 minutes later you see that they have not even started, it can be a natural reaction to think negative about this and respond by saying something negative, such as,

'Why can't I trust you to get dressed when I ask you, you are always wasting time and making me late for work'. .......and so on. Although a child may respond and get dressed, it is not going to put them into any kind of good mood, which will likely mean more negative behaviour later on.

If we turn our thoughts into positive ones, we might say something encouraging and positive, for example,

'Come on it's time to get dressed, you are really good at getting dressed, show me how quick you can get dressed and see if you can beat me to the kitchen for breakfast, ... This is much more positive and likely to put them into a good mood and want to please you by getting dressed.

So remember GOOD thoughts and actions produce good results.

BAD thoughts and actions produce bad results.

All the best

Ruth Edensor

About The Author

Hi, my name is Ruth Edensor and I am a Child Behaviour Consultant, helping parents to find fast, effective, easy to use, positive methods to improve their children's behaviour. I am the Author of A Parent's Guide to Children's Behaviour'.

My 1st Confession

I added the article of  " Raising A Kid is Not Kidding" by Barry Lee, last night. But I just read it (seriously ..) a few minutes ago :-D 
I want to make sure that all the items he mentioned about what a parent should do to his/her children, has done by me or my husband.

The first thought I had when I read the articles for the 1st time is .. that as a parent, I already understand all the things Mr.Barry Lee wrote on his article & that those things are not too difficult to do. But then I thought .. Really ? Have I treated my children right ?

Well .. Let me start "my 1st confession" as a parent & a mother .. :-)

Communication 
I have 2 children who like to tell me everything. It seems like .. every single thing they see, hear, or experienced is something "bizzare" & should be told to their parents or friends or grandmother & grandfather, or anyone else ! 
When I pay more attention to their stories .. actually, they are so interesting & funny ! Because I can see how is my children "see" & hear their opinion about things that might be abstract or "too mature" for them. But I admit .. I am quiet often not provide reasonable portion of time for them to do it, because I do not want to be disturbed when I take a rest or enjoy my time doing something I like (on my break time) .. Too bad, because sometimes it makes them canceled their intention to share with me & would rather share with their father or friends. Then .. I lose a chance to know a part of my children development. But usually, I pay this mistake by taking them to a place that I know they like & spend my time with them doing things we enjoy together, including tell our stories to each other. It helps me to reduce my guilt & help my children to forgive their mother.

Trust
I believe, every children .. basically, trust their parents. If they do not, it must be because of  something their parents do which make it missing. 
I try to keep my children trust to me by telling them the truth about everything & fulfill the promise I have made. 
But sometimes .. because of something, it can not be done. For example .. When I objected to giving pocket money to my children & they asked me the reason .. I told them : it is because I do not have the money. They protest, because they have ever seen in my wallet that there are a few thousand rupiahs.They thought a few hundred rupiahs is enough to buy some snacks or a toy they want & it will not spend all of my money. I told them that it is true .. that I have some money, but the money is not for that, but to buy our needs, such as rice, side dishes and more. They were looked disappointed, but tried to understand. Then I promised them .. that when I have more money, I will take them to an ice cream cafe & buy a cup of ice cream & a plate of fried potatoes for each of them. Then .. everyone was happy !

Quality Time
I think quality time is related to communication. I mean .. The more you provide your time to have a quality time with your children, the more you have quality communication with them.
One of my concern about quality time is .. the quality time between my children & their father. Why ? Because he spends 5 days (from Monday to Friday, from 7 AM to 7 or 11 PM) in the office & sometimes he even can not meet his children awaken.
I always try to find something we can do together on weekend, such as .. shopping to a hypermart near our house, sometimes just to buy some snacks, only for an hour or less. Or having lunch or dinner in a cafe. Or even just watch a movie on DVD, at home.
There was a time when my husband objected to always doing such things like that, for a reason : he wants to spend the whole weekend to take a rest, because he is so tired of working. I was so upset & sad, especially when he rejected his son's wish to play badminton with him, because he wanted to sleep all day. But I am so grateful to God .. because after I told him that things like he did can take his children to restrain from him, until one day he will lose him .. my husband was changed a lot. & now .. even when he is tired, I can see that he tries to provide some of his breaking time to be spent with his family, especially with his children.


Preach that you Practice
Talking is easier than acting, isn't it ? :-D
I admit .. I am quiet often doing that. Hehehe .. Especially when I asked my children to do right things, but I do not do the same things. (Ou .. I am so ashamed admitting this ..)
For example : I asked them to pray as soon as the "adzan" (read : a call to pray) heard, but me .. ?? I pray after half or an hour or even longer than that after the adzan. Mostly, because I still have to do a few things such as cooking or cleaning something or anything else, or even just taking a break after doing "housewives stuffs".. But the point is : I do not pray as soon as the adzan heard, just like what I told my children to do. & that seems "strange" for the children. 
Well .. the answer of this matter is : fixing the NATO  (No Action Talk Only). :-D 
Right ??

Punishment and Rewards

Actually, I am a fierce mother. Gggrrrhh ..!! I  like speak strongly & loudly. Sometimes, I speak "spicy" or "sharply", even to my children. 

But it does not mean I do not love them. Actually, because I am also a quiet "paranoid" mother, who does not want to see something bad happen to my children or something bad is done by them, I became "hard"  to them. 

But deep in my heart .. I want to be the opposite.  I do.

So, I started trying to be more tolerant to my children. Not only see the bad things of them, but also see the good things.

I began with accepting that my children is still learning, so making a mistake is normal.

I also try to teach myself to be fair to my children. For example : when they do not play the rule of time sharing (that is approved with us) between doing their obligations (to do their homework, study, read "Qur'an" and more) & their rights (to play or have fun with computer or watching TV), they will lose 10 minutes of playing games on computer or PS for each mistake they do. (They have 120 minutes to play games on computer or PS in a week. It can be used on Saturday & Sunday afternoon, 60 minutes for each day). But if they can memorize the lesson they get at school in a week on Saturday, I will buy them a book they like.

Well .. Now, you can see that I am still far from perfect, even good, as a mother. But everytime I wake up in the morning, I always pray .. have an intention .. hope for God to help me .. that today, I can improve myself & my ability for my beloved children, because they are God's gift to me.

So .. what is your story ?? Feel free to share with me & other mothers .. around the world. Just send me your story by e-mail to a_febrin@asia.com. I will post it here .. on my blog, as soon as possible.

Thank you. Have  a wonderful day !

Raising A Kid Is Not Kidding (by Barry Lee)

Parenting is surely one of the most daunting tasks. You have to nurture your small baby to be a respectable citizen of tomorrow. It can be horrifying sometimes, but trust me it is one of the most wonderful experiences.

Today you have parenting training, parenting courses and parenting books available for reference, which can be of great help. Here we will discuss some of the basics required in parenting.

Communication - Communication is a must for the success of any relation and so is also necessary between parents and children. Parents should make it a point to communicate with their children regularly. Your child should feel free to come up to you and talk with you about anything and everything on their minds.

Trust – This is one of the most important factors lack of which can cause parenting problems. You should try and develop trust between you and your child. For this you should trust your child completely and then only he will trust you.

Quality Time – Spending quality time with your children is equally important. In today’s hectic lifestyle people do not get time to spend with their children and this leads to parenting problems. But for effectively raising a child you need to be around them to tell them what to do and what not to do. The more time you spend with your child the easier it will be for them to talk and relate with you and vice-a -versa.

Preach that you Practice – Parents are the first teachers, the first idols of their children and children tend to follow their parents. If they find your preaching is just wordy and you don’t practically apply it yourself they will stop doing it. So preach that you practice or practice that you preach is a success mantra for a good parent.

Punishment and Rewards – Dealing with children requires you to be practical and also spontaneous. Praise your child if he has done some good work, however small it may be. Give your child a token of appreciation for his good deeds. Take your child for a surprise picnic if he performed well in the competition he took part. Your gifts, accolades, and surprises act as a catalyst in motivating your child.

Punishments also are an integral part of parenting. I know punishing the child becomes tough for some parents, but trust me it essential for the betterment of your child. Punish your child if he disobeys.

Parenting is a tough job, but with loads of patience, lot of common sense, and practical attitude combined with oodles of love you can make parenting an easy task.

Happy Parenting!

About The Author

Barry Lee is content writer for the http://www.theparentpractice.com.

Confession (by Febrin A. Ismardi)

Confessing is not an easy thing to do, especially to write, for me. Moreover, if this confession fills with things that are not good enough to be known by others.

But I think it should be shared, because I hope it will "remind" any mother, just like me, that a mother is a human, who has goodness & badness .. who sometimes does good & bad things, to anyone .. even to her own children.

But the most important thing to remember is : there is not even a mother who wants to see her children falling into a trap or hole. And as human, actually .. God has created us as a perfect creature which has an ability to do anything we want ! Especially a mother .. who has a heart full of never ending love for her children.

So it is fine, I think .. for me, to confess. NOT only to regret, but to "awaken" me to be better. A better mother ..

I hope you can do the same thing as me, in this blog .. So we can remind & share to each other about what we should or should not do in any case, while we are doing our "respectable job" to raise & educate our children.